Is Your ‘But’ Bigger Than You Think

A while back now I watched an Australian film called; The Dressmaker starring Kate Winslet. There was a particular scene that sparked an interesting thought about how a person’s own ability to find an alternative to problems that they face, by using the word ‘but’.

In this scene, Winslet’s character Myrtle is upset with the townspeople’s treatment towards her and in a rage wanted to leave the town along with her reluctant mother. Myrtle debates with her mother Molly (played by Judy Davis) all the reasons they should leave the town, giving in to those around her. However with every reason, Molly rebuffs her with each statement beginning with ‘but…’

It’s a simple contrasting word that is often used in a negative context. I want to be an artist BUT I can’t draw. I want to get fit BUT I don’t have time to exercise. It’s an easy way to excuse yourself from facing a difficult problem and nowadays we do it almost subconsciously. What I found during this scene was the strength of this seemingly insignificant word being used in a positive way, to reason and reinforce…

So how about when you’re feeling like giving up or giving in to a problem that you face, turn this word into your own power tool to combat difficult situations and times of uncertainty, instead of letting them win.

For example, I’ve recently started a YouTube channel (The Gracious Life) and I’m sure most people can understand putting yourself out there in such a public light is no easy feat. I had wanted to create this channel for a while, however I kept using negative ‘BUTS’ to question my own insecurities. From the way I look and sound on camera to the negative feedback and reactions I might receive, there were just so many ‘buts’. What I realised overtime and with the support of friends, is that yes, I have these insecurities BUT if I give into them, I would never move forward and achieve my goals, which holds a greater importance than my insecurities. And now that I have created my channel, this has proven to be true.

So when you’re thinking about what you want to do in life, whether it’s on a day-to-day basis or long-term goals you want to achieve, and you start having those thoughts that are telling you to run in the opposite direction, think about your BUT. Ask yourself is your BUT bigger than those thoughts that are causing confusion. Start with ‘but…’ and finish with a positive statement. You might just realise that the outcome holds a greater importance to the negative thoughts that are holding you back.

Originally published on Glam Adelaide

How Breathing the Right Way can Change Your Life

Breathing. It is something that most of us do without really thinking about it. It keeps us alive (we know, stating the obvious) but have you ever thought about how breathing can assist us in certain situations?

In today’s fast paced and ever changing society it is no wonder that we can often find ourselves anxious, stressed and/or worried. We have all seen that scene in a movie where someone is stressing out and to try and calm down, they breathe into a paper bag. While this may help some people (there is actually method behind the seemingly mad action), there are other simple breathing techniques that can be used to create calmness within.

Those who practice yoga or other forms of meditation will recognise the use of breathing practices as a way to create internal calmness and relaxation. Bringing these techniques into your every day life or maybe just when you are feeling that anxiety/stress/worry come on, could make a huge difference to the way that you are feeling and how you cope with certain situations.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re anxious or stressed that we tend to take short shallow breaths from the upper chest? Instead try to concentrate your breathing all the way down into your abdomen. Deep and slow belly breathing is known for creating a sense of calm. Your body actually reacts to this slow type of breathing and responds more rationally. Gosh our body is clever!

Breathing is something we have the power to control and change. So if you find yourself becoming anxious, stress or worried, try using this ‘super’ power of yours and change the way you breathe. You might just find the ability to calm yourself down and tackle any situation head on.

I would love to hear how breathing has helped you in a stressful situation, so let me know at mayanthi@thegraciouslife.com.au

Originally published on Glam Adelaide

Throw That ‘Too Hard Basket’ Out and Start Achieving Your Goals

So that famous too hard basket, have you heard the saying? Well i reckon I hadn’t heard of it till I joined the workforce. And it’s made me think, why have we made it so easy to just throw something in the too hard basket, why should this be allowed, because really throwing something in the too hard basket actually means giving up or not doing something about something that needs doing.
I know for me I don’t really think about the too hard basket very often and I think there are 3 reasons for this:
1. I’m usually passionate about the things I think about doing so I’ll do whatever I can to not make it so hard to do.
2. I work on it slowly, do abit here and abit there so it doesn’t feel like I’m taking on a massive task all at once.
3. I don’t think of it as too hard. Our brains have so much power that the more we think something the more real it feels and the more we believe it.
So my lessons here are firstly if you really are passionate about doing something then take it on as a challenge, it’s not going to be easy but it doesn’t mean the idea needs to go in the too hard basket, it just needs a little TLC. Secondly, break your idea down into doable steps (Rome wasn’t built in a day..hey hey hey). And thirdly, I think this point is so important; don’t think of something as too hard, if you really want to do something, and it’s physically possible, then just put a little bit of time and work into it. Once you start working on it, it will become easier and easier!